Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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