Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
