Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
