I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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