so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
