You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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