Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
