i just google imaged poop.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
