You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
