Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
