Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
