I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
