Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
