i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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