she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
