All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
