Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
