By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
