I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
