Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
