Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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