Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
