dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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