I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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