cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
