Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
