I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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