Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
