Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
