FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
