Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
