put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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