There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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