how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
