Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
