i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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