She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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