i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I cut my penus on the lid.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
