She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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