overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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