i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We left the knife in your bed.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize
