god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
