White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
