Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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