I'm so fucking centered right now
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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