Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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