Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
