I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I smell like Dick and happiness
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
