I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
