I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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