The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
