So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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